Wednesday, October 1, 2008

The Batman Handbook

My brother was gone in Portland, Oregon for about a week, and while he was there he went to Powell's City of Books, which is the largest book store in the United States. I exclaimed to him when he called to tell me this, that it was extremely un-fair because I have read 2 books a week since I learned to read in 3rd grade. I suggested that he should buy be something there just for fun, but he reminded me that he's not really sure what i like to read. So that was the end of that conversation, and i went on about my day and completely forgot until he got home a couple of days ago, and remembered to give me a BOOK today. I was like sweet , i though you weren't going to get me a book, but he did and he also got me a map of the store. The map shows an entire city block, separated into four sections, two of the sections have two floors, the other two have three and one floors respectively. There are nine rooms in the building, separated by genre's, examples include the Pearl Room (music, art, culture, architecture, dance, drama, film, and photography). Or how about the Orange Room (careers, business, cooking, interior design, crafts, gardening, weddings, and home construction).
Anyways, he got the map and a BOOK, the book is "The Batman Handbook: the ultimate training manual" and if you don't know me which I'm sure you have yet to, I Love Super Hero movies, comic books, costumes, t-shirts, socks, shoes, coloring books, shorts, books, basically anything to do with their stories. In other words getting "The Batman Handbook" from my brother in totally B.A.
I am now going to list some or all of the table of contents because not only did it make me laugh hysterically, but they are not kidding (its not a joke book, yet its not a DIY book either).

Ch. 1 How to make a bat suit, how to make a bat-signal, how to bulletproof your bat mobile, how to maintain your alter-ego.
Ch.2 How to throw a grappling hook, how to make a quick costume change, how to drive the Bat mobile on two wheels, how to execute a back flip.
Ch.3 How to win a whip fight, how to take a kick to the head, how to win a sword fight, how to survive a shoot out, how to take out a roomful of goons.
Ch.4 How to search for clues, how to determine the time and cause of death, how to collect blood samples, how to extract a confession.
Ch.5 How to win a coin toss, how to withstand poison kisses, how to survive a poison gas attack, how to withstand hypnosis, how to blend into the shadows and slip away.

So who wants to take a stab at it, just FYI its by: Scott Beatty, if you want to go buy it yourself, or if you have a fascination with Super Hero stories like i do.